Money, Womanhood, and the Power of Clarity
By Abby Webb – Co-Founder of HER Accountants
As a child of divorced parents, I grew up in two very different households, hearing and feeling two very different stories about money. In one home, it was something to be managed carefully, handled cautiously, and worked hard for; planning and saving were spoken about openly: a practical, steady approach to life. In the other, it was a source of stress, anxiety, and sometimes shame: a measure of success to be celebrated loudly when things were going well and kept quiet when they weren’t.
As a woman, it felt like there was an unspoken rule: you could care about money, but only quietly, and only speak of it proudly when you were “doing well.” I know now that this simply isn’t true.
These early experiences shaped the way I approached my finances; and they also helped me recognise the patterns in the way many women relate to money. Women I’ve met are often brilliant at what they do – running businesses, leading teams, creating; yet when it comes to their own finances, they feel hesitant, unsure, or even afraid.
Money isn’t just numbers, it carries emotions, histories, and expectations. Fear, responsibility, silence, and self-doubt often creep in, shaping decisions quietly and sometimes unconsciously.
I remember a client who had always relied on others to “handle the numbers”: she worried she might make a mistake or appear inadequate. Working through her accounts together, slowly and carefully, she began to see money differently: not as something to fear, but as a tool to make choices with intention and confidence. By the end, she wasn’t just informed, she was confident.
That moment made me realise how deeply personal and transformative financial understanding can be. Women don’t just need the numbers; they need guidance, space, and the reassurance that they can engage with money safely and meaningfully.
Over time, I began to reflect more on my own relationship with money. There were moments when I felt proud of every spreadsheet, every balanced account, every small financial decision made correctly. And there were moments when I felt the weight of doubt: am I doing enough? Should I be doing more? Those feelings, I realised, weren’t about my abilities, they were echoes of the stories I grew up with, the expectations I absorbed as a girl. Understanding that gave me a sense of permission to rewrite my own relationship with money, and, in turn, to help others do the same.
Financial clarity isn’t just a practical skill; it can be an act of softness, self-trust, and empowerment, some might say, a gift to ourselves. It’s about recognising the stories we inherit, the patterns we’ve absorbed, and creating space to relate to money in our own way.
For women, this can mean challenging fear or silence; claiming confidence; and making decisions aligned with values rather than obligation. It can also mean leaning into curiosity: asking questions, learning without shame, and being willing to confront discomfort to grow.
Money and womanhood are deeply intertwined, not because wealth defines worth, but because the ways we relate to money reflect how we value ourselves. Learning to engage with money openly, thoughtfully, and without judgment allows for greater self-understanding, independence, and courage. It can feel radical to speak about it, to examine it, and to take control; but that examination is also deeply liberating.
I’ve come to see that these lessons are not just about finances: they ripple into every area of life – business decisions, relationships, personal growth. The confidence to engage with money builds confidence elsewhere: to set boundaries, to make decisions aligned with your values, to trust your intuition. And while numbers are the language of finance, the conversation is always human: about values, confidence, and the choices we make for ourselves.
For me, working with women around money has been a constant reminder of how powerful clarity can be. Whether it’s navigating a business decision, planning for the future, or simply understanding where we stand, taking the time to reflect on our finances is an act of care, for ourselves, our families, and our ambitions. It’s not about perfection; it’s about intention, trust, and empowerment. And when we approach money this way, quietly but confidently, it becomes a tool to live fully, create boldly, and step into the life we want to lead.
Ultimately, the stories we tell ourselves about money, the fear, the responsibility, the pride, the shame, are ours to rewrite. And as women, when we take the time to understand and reclaim our financial narratives, we aren’t just changing numbers: we’re changing how we see ourselves, what we believe we are capable of, and how we show up in the world.
That, to me, is the real power of money: not as an end in itself, but as a reflection of confidence, self-trust, and the courage to become who we are meant to be.
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